Glitz & Grammar

Life and Times of a Wannabe Writer

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Sorry. Been busy writing stuff about masturbation, etc.

I have been meaning to blog, I really have. It’s just that I’ve been so busy what with my other projects and all that I haven’t really had much time to spend here on G&G. Take this piece about masturbating, for example:

True story: I didn’t masturbate until after I lost my virginity at 18—almost 19—years old. I was never really comfortable with myself and to be honest, the whole thing kind of weirded me out. I always figured masturbating was for 13-year-old boys who just discovered Lubriderm and the internet for the first time. It wasn’t until college that I realized everyone was doing it. And not only were they doing it but they had been doing it for like, ever. This is how I found out:

Scene: Living room of girlfriend’s apartment. Five-to-six college freshmen are enjoying a girls’ night in. Toe nail painting, romantic comedy watching, hair braiding, all that shit is happening. Sex talk ensues.

Me: “So what does an orgasm even feel like?” [Continue reading at]

Anyway, I hope to get back on track with a regular blogging pattern beginning next week. I know I’ve been promising this for like, ever, but I really want to do something with! Something big. Something bigger than big! Honestly, it’s probably not going to be all that big at all. But still. You should definitely keep reading. Because I really need someone to have a little faith in me right now.

Love you guys. Here’s a fun comic that I think most freelance writers will relate to:

(Click image for source)


Wanted: Old Couples Who Still Get It On, etc.

I just finished a piece for the print edition of this amazing women’s magazine. I actually submitted two pieces for the issue, one about all the dope new music coming out this fall and one about how nearly impossible it is to have a normal relationship/sex life when you write a biweekly sex column.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should just ask my editor if I can write about something else. Like cooking or finance or health or parenting. But then I remember how much I hate writing about all those things and it’s just like, Oh yeah….THIS is my life:

I love what I write about. And to be honest, I kind of enjoy the challenges it has posed in my life. If a guy can’t handle the fact that sometimes I talk openly about digging things like role play and bondage and threesomes and first kisses, then clearly he’s not the man for me.

On that same note, I have been thinking a lot lately about branching out and interviewing other open-minded people about their love and sex lives. I would love to talk to people with weird fetishes, for example, or maybe interview a really old couple who still regularly gets it on to find out their secrets. In the past, my column has been very self-centered. While I am always more than happy to throw myself under the bus and expose all my love, sex and dating mishaps in the name of making my readers feel better about themselves, I also feel like maybe it is time to grow and expand.

What do you guys think?


Quickie: Safe sex

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she must swallow her pride, drive herself to the gas station, and buy a big pack of Trojan Ribbed for Her Pleasures. Some girls hold their heads high and handle this situation like mature fucking adults. I prefer to handle things a little differently: By wearing a disguise. Wish me luck tonight, friends.

20111218-190231.jpgIncognito for condom-buying


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