Okay Las Vegas, here’s the deal. It’s looking like it might rain again today so I figured I’d better take a sec to let everyone know that everything is going to be all right. Yesterday’s sprinkle seemed to have sent you people into a tizzy, but I’m hoping we all learned a thing or two about precipitation and how it doesn’t really fuck your life up as much as you all apparently think it does. Please remember you can still drive the speed limit. It is not necessary to do 35 on the highway just because a little bit of water is drizzling from the sky. Just make sure to give yourself a little extra braking room and I promise you we are going to make it through this.
If you insist on driving like an idiot and that’s just kind of your “thing” or whatever, please do me a favor and get the hell out of the way of those of us who grew up driving in real weather because you people are making me absolutely bonkers. And late. You’re making me very, very late.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation in this matter.
Peace and love,