[Disclaimer: the two images I used to create "House in the Hat" are not mine. They are the results of a Google search. Please don't sue me. I am broke and get paid $0.00 for maintaining this blog. This is all in good fun.]
I’m writing the pilot episode to a new TV drama that’s just like that doctor show House except this one’s called Seuss and he diagnoses everything in rhyme. Here is an excerpt from the script:
Lupus Lupus it is not
It is not Lupus like I thought
I was almost certain to the highest decree
So if it is not Lupus, what can it be?
Let’s examine the symptoms: 1, 2 and 3:
It hurts when you pee?
Sure sounds like Lupus to me!
But alas! What’s this? A travel brochure to Laos?
What do you mean where’d I find it? My interns snuck into your house.
This clue is the answer to your diagnosis!
We now know it’s not Lupus or even Cystic Fibrosis.
Not Porphyria or Sepsis or hemochromatosis,
Not cancer, not AIDS, not tuberculosis.
You’re not ill or dying, everything’s under control.
There’s just a tiny fish in your wiener hole!