6:00 a.m.
Alarm goes off. Hit snooze button. Twice, maybe three times, depending on whether wine was consumed night before.
6:30 a.m.
Shower. Wash hair. Never mind washing hair. I’ll just wear it up again.
7:15 a.m.
Check email. Check Twitter. Check Facebook. Check clock. Shit. I’m late.
7:55 a.m.
Get in car. Hopefully it starts. Turn on radio. That same fucking Adele song. Turn off.
8:00 a.m. – 8:35 a.m.
Fuck Las Vegas traffic.
8:40 a.m.
Utilize James Bond skills to stealthily sneak past bosses and into cubicle. They’re too busy to notice I’m late anyway. Clock in.
8:41 a.m. – 4:59 p.m.
Stare at computer screen while considering least painful ways to commit suicide.
5:00 p.m.
Never mind the killing myself thing. Life is awesome!!
5:02 p.m.
Get in car. Turn on radio. Adele. Turn off.
5:03 p.m. – 5:50 p.m.
Seriously with this traffic?
6:00 p.m.
Pour self a cocktail. Feed self.
7:30 p.m.
Sit down to computer. Time to get some writing done. Open Safari instead. Check email. Check Twitter. Check Facebook.
8:30 p.m.
Think about all the things I should be writing about.
9:30 p.m. – 10:30 p.m.
Go to the gym. It’s literally only a two minute walk from my house, so why not?
9:30 p.m.
Pour self another cocktail.
11:00 p.m.
Get in bed. Feel exhausted despite having accomplished nothing for the day. Think about all the things I should have written about.
11:30 p.m. – 6:00 a.m.
Dream about the day I’ll have enough time and energy to actually write something worth reading.
6:00 a.m.
Repeat. Unless it’s a Saturday or Sunday, in which case…go to second job.
6:00 p.m.
